Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Let's discuss bullying

I despise bullying, with a passion. So many of you already know this because of my book series and the fact that I have spoken out about this issue before now.
What I have never understood is why is you dislike someone so much do you spend the energy going out of your way to call them names.
I know there are people that I do not like, but would I go out of my way to call them names? No. I am mature enough to just ignore these people and if put in a situation where we need to speak I will be civil. So why don't other adults instill this in their children? This I have no idea. My eldest is being bullied. It has been off and on for years. These bullies have issues that they can no deal with so they take it out on my daughter because she does not stand up for herself. They are also jealous of my daughter. I hear them cry noooooo we are not jealous of her. Really? your actions do not portray this.

There are different types of bullying:

  • Physical
  • Verbal
  • Virtual (Social media etc.)

As a child, I was a victim of bullying. It is not a nice feeling and when you grow up you do not ever want your children to feel this way. So when it does it breaks your heart and you will do anything within your power to put a stop to it.
Now my daughter says there are 3 main ones in her school. One I don't know much about so I won't talk about. Another, who I know for a fact is a nice girl deep down. Then there is the main one - no I don't like and never will. 
This main one has big issues going on in her personal life and I won't go into them as that is not my place and I am writing this blog to address the bullying, but rest assured..... if this bullying does continue I WILL be naming and shaming. I will also be going to the police, papers and the governing bodies. Just take that as a little warning.
So let's discuss the main bully. Her and my daughter had a falling out in the first year and because of the bullies personal issues she got nasty with my daughter. I spoke to the girls foster parent and - it was a good conversation and she seemed like an okay person - she got the girl to write Erin an apology letter. After that they have bickered but not really been friends, but the snide comments have been easy to ignore, because we expect nothing more from someone like her. But this foster mother told me that if anything continues then I should speak directly to the school. 
Anyway there have been a few up and downs and hiccups along the way but nothing we couldn't handle. But this week my daughter put up a rather depressing status so I texted her and asked if this was just a poem or has something gone on. She was upset and luckily it was the end of the school day so she was just getting the bus home. By the time she got home she was really upset and explain how these three bullies had started saying things - all instigated by the main one. Then other girls started joining in.
Seriously, that right there ^ annoys the heck out of me. Are you that messed up that you have to use your personal issues in a way that you use my daughter as an emotional punchbag. Everyone else who joined in should be ashamed of themselves. Did your parents not teach you better? Trust me, if I approached all of your parents and I let them know the things you girls were saying and doing then they would (I hope) come down on you like a tonne of bricks. Because I know if my children ever belittled anyone there would be hell to pay. I will not stand for it. I will happily go all mama bear on anyone who hurts my girls with the nasty and vile things that spew from the mouths of wretched children with nothing better to do. This is exactly why I went to the school. I emailed them a list of 5 names who were involved. I will also happily continue emailing further names. That girl who sat outside the Maths parents evening last night.... yes I know you were involved too. That is exactly why I looked at you and you looked away sheepishly.
So before parents evening my daughter was in school and the main bully was snapping pencils whilst trying to get my daughters attention. Then she would say that my daughter made her snap pencils. Seriously? Do you realise how stupid you sound?
One Monday I made a big ranting status, I mentioned no names, but I tagged my daughter in it knowing full well that the people on her friends list would read what I put. Oh yeah they did. One girl even showed the main girl. Funny how they knew who it was. She even knew it was her. Guilty conscience?
The thing is, those people who sit around and watch this go on and say nothing are almost as bad. There is a lot you can do. You can stand up for my daughter in many ways. Tell the bully where to go for starters, or tell the teacher. You can tell the teacher in a way so no one even knows you have said anything. But to sit there and watch? Sorry that is out of order.
So parents evening last night. Oh yes that was fun. I made sure every single teach knew what was going on. Well the main bullies foster mother did tell me to inform the school so I did. But here is the thing. I had just stepped into the main schools foyer, which is fairly big and the main bully and her foster mum were there and not looking very happy. I smiled at the woman and asked if she would like a quiet word. She snapped and said no thank you. All I could do was laugh. Bad attitudes like that will get you no where. I may be angry with the bully but as a grown adult I am mature enough to speak to parents and discuss how we can resolve these issues. Obviously this woman can;t because she seems to use what goes on in the bullies life as an excuse. If this was the case for everyone then my daughter would be bullying everyone she could but no. My daughter does not allow her personal issues to get in the way of how she treats people. yes she is in constant pain but would she personally go out of her way to make someone else feel bad? no.
So today my daughter is in school and a few people, one being the second bully who I said deep down is a nice girl, along with a couple of others started saying that I cornered this parent last night.
I did? really? Was I sleeping? Next time please someone wake me up so I can see what I am supposedly doing. I was actually standing next to a school prefect ready to fill in some questionnaire.... just for those curious minds out there ;)
So today I made a youtube video and here it is:

So to summarise. If this bullying conditions I will be taking further steps to ensure that this is dealt with. Right now it is in the schools hands and I am hopeful that this will be dealt with in a swift and timely manner. In the meantime think before you speak.

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1 comment:

  1. Well said! You have my prayers that this situation is dealt with quickly!