Wednesday, 9 September 2015

Man Flu

Okay maybe I am not the worst patient ever, but I do give it my best shot.

People always say that women handle sickness better than men. I have not found this to be true.
My husband is a frigging trooper when it comes to being ill. He carries on and goes to work. Me? Well I act as though I am dying. I want to cry all the time. I am one of those people you just want to slap.

I have the flu. Or rather I have Man Flu. It is no joking matter. I am a woman with man flu and I feel as though I am dying. The plight is real.

Today I have had half a cup of blackcurrant Lemsip. I would have had more but seriously.... this stuff is vile. Why can't they make them so they tasted delicious so we would take these meds and get better quicker? It's a ploy people for us to buy more because they know (they really do) that we dont finish the cups and don't get the full benefits. The lemon one of these is even worse than the blackcurrant - and that is saying something. If any of you say that you enjoy the flavours then you are weird!
There are lots of flu remedies out there and I have none. I am that one person who seems to have most medical tablets etc. on the cupboard except flu remedies. What the hell is the world coming to? I really need to put on my big girl panties and go and buy some but that takes us back to the beginning... I am a really bad patient. Anyway there are these little bottles of magic. I have never tried them but gave them to my husband for a joke one year. Yeah maybe I should have stocked up for myself. I should also buy some of those man up pills too.

This morning I managed to escape from the house and go shopping. If my husband wasn't home I would not have moved anywhere but we needed food. But what did I do when I get home? I went to bed. I crawled right up in there and fell asleep. Even my cat knew that I was ill and gave me lots of sympathy.

My eldest daughter laughs at me... of course she does, I caught it off her. Bloody lergy giver.
My youngest daughter is full of sympathy and wants to hug and kiss me better - Yup she is getting it next. Well maybe. She gets the flu shot. Plus she won't act like a baby with it. My husband is being the woman and telling me to man up, whilst I sit there and weep and thrash my arms and legs as I throw my dummy (pacifier) across the room as I tell him I am dying.
I do want to add that I am not just like this with the flu. I am like this with everything. I have a phobia of being sick. You will rarely catch me vomiting in a toilet (people put their arses and bits on that - plus it stinks) When I vomit it tends to be in the bathtub. Yes gross right? My husband is awesome though because he cleans up after me. I tend to have a type of panic attack when vomiting. 
I have OCD and I was my hands about 20 times plus a day. Okay maybe about 50, but you get the picture. So how do I catch bugs? Children. they are germ carriers. Don't they know that I have a rubbish immune system? Ugh.
So why did I write this blog? Because I am a huge cry baby who is feeling sorry for herself. I want sympathy. I want someone to magic this away.